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“Oh, sorry,” Heather responded. “We’re used to carrying on conversations in the bathroom and following each other onto the toilet. We’ll leave you to it.”We were nearly to the door when Kim said, “Wait.” When we turned, she whispered, “You ... hang in the bathroom together while ... peeing?”We nodded at her, then turned again to leave, but again she asked us to wait with, “You can stay, I guess, though this is a little embarrassing.”I answered, “We can leave. We don’t want to...”“No! You’re obviously used to it, and I want to fit in with you. It’s not really all that different from having conversations across the stalls in bathrooms at school. You can certainly hear ... what’s going on in the other stall, but you couldn’t see. Of course, you can’t see now, either. You girls ... You’re crazy.”With that, we could hear that she had forced herself to relax enough to let go, as she asked, “You go to the bathroom together and have conversations. Yes?” When we both nodded, she asked, “Do you. Those young men could not comfort me or make me feel safe. They do not want to make love, they want only to fuck. I do not want only to fuck. I know that you will not be in a hurry, I know you can hold me, I know you can give me what I need, and that is why I want you to make love to me."The length and completeness of Helena's speech made it clear that she had indeed thought very hard about it. To say that I was stunned by her directness and expression of confidence in my ability to satisfy her emotional needs would be gross understatement. And, even as I began to picture in my mind what might ensue from my response, I also had to give serious consideration to whether it might be better to continue to nurture my own fantasies than to attempt to experience the reality."Helena," I said, " it could turn out to be a big disappointment to both of us. I haven't been with a woman for a long time."Beneath the joy of this moment, a wave of anger and bitterness swept through me. Before my wife.
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